


A Hollow Dwarf

by therune



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-12
Updated: 2014-09-12
Packaged: 2018-02-17 03:57:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2295779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/therune/pseuds/therune
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fíli and Kíli are close brothers, sometimes acting as if they were one person, as if they shared one soul.<br/>They do.<br/>But since Fíli was born 5 years before Kíli, he spends his first years alone with a hole in his heart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Hollow Dwarf

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know the name of Dís' canonical husband, so I chose Falka. Just because Fíli, son of Falka, sounds pretty amazing. I love dwarven names. 
> 
> sorry if there are inconsistencies, it's been a while since I read the book. Or saw the movie.

The are finally in the Blue Mountains, having escaped the loss of Erebor with their lives and not much else.  
It would be too much to say that life went on. Life lingered, animated their bones and lent them voices when they spoke. The dwarves all grieved, having lost so many to the dragonfire. They all deal in different ways: anger, sorrow or numbness so deep that they seemed to be made out stone. There were dwarves who never spoke a word after Erebor, dwarves who seemed to have no ears for the living, who always seemed to be listening for something that would never sound again. Some dwarves recovered, some never changed, forever marked by dragonfire. 

They make for Khazad-Dum, fight to reclaim another home lost.They lose many more, but there is no home for them.

So they return to the Mountains. Not home, because that is not their home, and never will be. Their home is lost in fire and death.

Dís had almost forgotten about the hollow dwarves. How it seemed as if Erebor had left a hole inside them that could never be filled. A loss so great leaves wounds, and some wounds are never heal.  
She had never been one of them: she marched on, no matter how tired or hungry she were, marched with Thorin. Even in sleep, energy tugged at her, never letting herself be completely still. Thorin himself had been full of dark anger, quietly seething just beneath the surface. The past had left wounds inside both of them, their father, grandfather, brother. She missed him most of all, Frerin. 

It's in the mountains that she meets Falka. Falka is sweet, almost reverent when he touches her. One of the nobles, he is kind and understands what she needs before she knows herself. His eyes light up like the finest jewels when she tells him that she is with child.  
The birth itself is quite easy, although no birth truly ever is. The hard part is what comes after. Fíli, their son, doesn't scream when he's brought into the world. He grasps their fingers, is drawn to them, but he doesn't speak. Falka cradles the tiny bundle to his chest, cooing, making sweet promises and is reverent. But there is one thing he does not see, but she can; when it's usually the other way around.  
Fíli is a hollow dwarf. He was born hollow, with a hole in his heart. She doesn't understand how, Erebor fell almost a hundred years ago. Yet her son is hollow, missing something from deep within. 

Fíli is too quiet, when he learns how to crawl and walk. She learns to live with the silence, but can't help the way fear grips her heart when she calls for Fíli and doesn't hear him. Falka finds their son, usually, picking him up and asking where he was, how his day went, when Fíli never responds. They have talked to healers, but there is nothing wrong with Fíli. He could speak if he wanted to, he just never chooses to.  
Thorin comes by often. For all his faults, he tries to be a good uncle, to cherish the new family. He just doesn't know how. 

It changes one day. Dís had left Fíli to Thorin who looks at her like she just handed him a bottle full of flashfire. "He's 4, he's not dangerous, brother."  
"I never said he was," Thorin protests. He sits Fíli on his lap and studies a map, planning this and that. Fíli studies the map, too, occasionally following his uncle's fingers when he traces paths and routes.  
She visits old Oin. The signs had been there, but she had wanted to make sure. Oin smiles brilliantly, a bit like her father would have.  
She is with child. 

Falka lifts her up and spins her around. "Another child, my love."  
"Do you think it will be a son again?"  
Falka presses a kiss to her temple. "The baby will be perfect, just like his brother. His brother. Fíli!"  
He storms to the room where Thorin looks like he had just negotiated with Fíli for an inkwell. Whatever does her brother do in her absence, she wonders.  
"My son, come here."  
Dís sinks to the floor, thick carpet under her legs. Falka grabs one of Fíli's tiny hands in his own, places an arm around his shoulders.  
"Fíli, you're going to be a big brother."  
He places his hand gently - reverently - against her stomach, barely showing any signs. "You're going to have a little brother or a little sister."  
And Fíli's eyes light up like the finest jewels. 

Before, she had often missed Fíli's company, when the boy seemed content on his own, as if he didn't feel the need for his mother. How he never cried or demanded. Now it's impossible to pry him away from her for a few moments.  
She lies on a diwan, belly heavy with child. Fíli has placed himself in the crook of her arm, holding on with tiny hands. She feels the baby kick and smiles. "Fíli, your sibling is kicking. Here, you can feel it." She places his hand on her belly, waiting for the baby to kick again. Fíli feels it and seems frozen, shocked until his core. Then he gently presses his head to her belly - is he trying to listen? To feel?  
He is trying to greet the baby, to touch his forehead to the baby's, like he has seen it with cousins Balin and Dwalin. Although those always knock their heads together as if trying to knock the other one unconscious.  
"What do you think, little one? Boy or girl?"  
Fíli lifts his head to look at her. "Kíli," he says. His first and only words so far.  
Tears well up in her eyes as she gets him to say it again. "Is that the baby's name?"  
"Kíli," Fíli affirms.  
She calls for Falka, who rushes in and is concerned at her tears. She hushes him.  
"Fíli, tell adad how to name the baby."  
Fíli points to her belly. "Kíli."  
Falka sinks to his knees and hugs Fíli close.  
"Then that is his name."  
"Or hers," Dís reminds him. 

The rest of the pregnancy goes over fast, as she feels the baby grow and Fili seems to bloom. His eyes shine, he talks and neither Falka nor Dís could be happier.  
Then labour starts but it is too soon, the healers had given her almost a month more.  
"It seems as if Kíli can't wait to meet you," she jokes and runs her fingers through Fíli's hair. Falka gathers him in his arms, places a kiss on her brow and explains to Fíli why he can't stay for the birth.  
Dís sinks back into the pillow. She had meant it as a little joke, but she isn't too sure. 

Kíli is born, a boy with black hair and a strong voice.  
Falka rushes to her side, and Fíli to Kíli's.  
She looks at Fíli, and the hollowness is gone.


End file.
